Leave it all behind

Beginnings and ends
cyclical, informing one another.

It's nice
           yet so redundant, repeating these words over and over. People wanting to find happiness, convincing themselves it's real.
Needing reasons to stay.

What's getting to me
[this time]
is the seeming quest for connection. Like being solitary
without dates and games of that nature is abhorred.

Maybe it means I'm [slightly?] unnatural
to not want that for now
foreseeable future.

And it doesn't really matter.
Spinning.

It'd be okay
if we were dizzy
getting ill from colors blurring
landscapes fade
eyes slide
in the spinning.

                                                                              Even now, I'm not ill.
                                                                              Just sick of it.

Maybe the lack of spinning sickness
means I've learned
                           something.

Let me place my feet on the ground,
pick a time
beginning or end
and run.

Too long

I know this is nothing;
words leaking out into the ether of ethernet connection
as if it matters.

But,
just maybe,
line breaks and no response
helps.

Graduated graduate
with no realistic stars to shoot for
and laughing as I wait
for them to fall on me.
                          [Right now, I'd be okay if they crushed me]

Hello, new beginning
of nothing. No assignments to keep me telling weeks apart.


I'll try to pick this back up
as something to do
         while waiting around for people living lives to want to connect
to the void of me
with no conversation or engagement with the world.

It just keeps spinning, wasting time and oxygen.